Find Your Emotional Writing Flow

I always had this romanticized idea of what emotional writing would feel like for me. With a cup of coffee in hand, I wanted to open my laptop with my journal and favorite gel pen resting comfortably next to the keyboard as emotions spill out of my heart like word vomit. My desk would be small and simple along with a chair that matched the simplicity. But the part that was the most romantic in my mind was the view. I wanted to be able to look up from my writing and see wonders of nature until a bird comes to rest on my windowsill to chirp the secrets of the Universe into my ear. That scene felt like exactly what I needed to know it was time to start releasing.

However, I must admit that my emotional writing experience was quite the opposite from the serene magical scene I had painted in my head. For years, my usual work or academic writing space was usually at a random coffee shop, at my boring desk,  in front of the television, or in the car in between appointments. Those spaces fit what I had been doing for 6 years when I owned a full service writing business. I was writing  in the voice of my clients while avoiding my voice. Even the little bit of writing that I tried to do for myself, I still felt like I was holding back or was blocked for some reason. 

The reality was I had been hiding from myself for so long, it was incredibly challenging to share my heart and soul on paper or through keystrokes at first. I didn't know how to be vulnerable so that I could allow the depth of my creativity to shine for myself.  I had spent so many years shoving down parts of myself to the point of claustrophobia that didn't feel as though it was going to let up. I felt stuck in it. 

However, at some point I got tired. And if I can talk to you for a moment, some of you may feel that same way right now. You are tired and weighed down by the emotions that you haven't allowed yourself to face or even speak. You want to breathe, but you've been holding your breath for so long, you don't remember how to.

The good news is that all you have to do is decide. You don't have to be in a picturesque setting; you don't have to be a good writer; you don't have to put your decision off until you feel "ready;" you don't have to make sure you are certain; and you don't have to wait for a traumatic event or a spiritual awakening.

Many times, we are stalled simply because we don't have the answers and are afraid to walk into the unknown. All of that is completely normal. It's the human struggle - the dance between love and control.

Control says, "I'm waiting for the perfect time to make a change. I know I want something different, but I have to see the big picture and everything in between before I say yes to myself."

Love says, "I'll accept the unknown process because I know I'm protected, and I know that everything always works out for my good. I also know that certainty and security are illusions. The only thing we are certain of is uncertainty, and I fully accept that truth without fear."

After I just decided to start releasing through emotional writing, breaking free from environments, people, dogma, and situations that served only to make me feel small, keep me in a box, and make me feel ashamed for who I really am didn’t feel great at first. In fact, it felt terrifying. When you have been holding your breath for so long, that first breath you receive doesn’t feel real. Your whole body feels like it is going into shock. And your first few breaths are short and deep and panic driven.

But after a couple of writing sessions, my breaths normalized. Somewhere in the emotional writing process, healing started to occur. I encouraged my adrenaline to slow itself. I told my body it was safe here. I spoke to my soul and reminded it that the wounds will heal. I cradled my heart and nurtured it with patience every time it told me it just wasn’t ready to open up yet.

In the midst of simply doing the work, I realized that healing isn't a location and healed isn't a state of being. Rather, it's an invitation for deeper self awareness and more alignment with the God inside of you and the universe around you. It's a decision to come out of hiding into the light.  

For myself and some of you, hiding is your best talent. You've always wanted to do big things in this world and have ambitious dreams. You may even spend countless hours pouring into others so you can help them make an impact on the world. Meanwhile, you remain quiet while the vastness of your energy is tucked away.

So, if you are ready to decide that even if your story is messy; even if you don't have the right setting to start writing; even if you still struggle with fear; even if you are terrified about what may come up -- you are still ready to stay yes, then finding your emotional flow is easy. Finding your flow is simply finding your connection to the truest, purest form of self. This means that when you write with unbridled honesty, you are essentially delayering. It's as if you are wearing layers upon layers of clothing and the emotional writing process gives you the strength and courage to remove those layers one piece at a time. That is your emotional flow. And you can get in that flow anytime and anywhere by making an agreement with self that it is always the right time to heal, to connect, and to flow.                                                        

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